As I said last week, I have fallen off the wagon of my program. This week I’m feeling pretty ashamed of myself, and while I’m still in a dark hole of laziness and ice cream, I am ready to climb out and get my act together.
What confuses me about the last five weeks is the scale. Why haven’t I gained any weight? After I went on my medication back in mid-July, I saw a two pound gain immediately, but since then, the scale hasn’t budged. While I am grateful for small blessings, I am really confused. I don’t understand how I don’t lift a finger to exercise, eat crap, drink wine and beer, yet still maintain my weight. Then there are the weeks that have passed where I was killing myself everyday to work out, and counting calories, with the same result. It is a deflating feeling.
I was talking with my dietitian BFF and although she found this to be a conundrum as well, she said since I was working out so much up to this “break,” I probably boosted my metabolism to deter weight gain. Also, maybe the drugs I was on had some effect. Those were her theories anyway. It’s just one of those mysteries. At least I haven’t lost weight, that would really piss me off.
Either way, I have to stop living in this fantasy world where I think I can eat, drink and be lazy and continue to maintain my weight. The honeymoon is over, and I need to get back to business. At this point, I am still 18 pounds away from my goal and I am going try my hardest to reach that goal before the year is over. And even if I don’t reach it, I want to end the year knowing I did everything I could. Because right now, I am feeling pretty crappy.
That being said, I am restarting the Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred, starting on Sunday. Since I have taken almost 6 weeks off from completing it on July 17th, I believe I completely reversed any progress I made from that program last time. Plus, I know I can do it, and that gives me comfort during this time when I need to set attainable goals. I’m also going to sign up for a 5K in October. Completing races gives me such a huge sense of satisfaction, and I need that right now. The weather in the fall season is going to be so nice for running, and I want to make the most of it before I’m stuck inside again all winter. Going to try running today, that’s going to hurt! The calorie counting is also resuming, effective immediately.
I know this is going to make me feel so much better. I don’t know why I let myself so easily slip into these bad patterns.
The plan is in place, time to get it together.