Month 1 Insanity: Ouch..

I just finished my first month of Insanity. My hairdresser asked me yesterday if I felt great with all this working out. I really don’t! I am so sore all the time, I keep waiting to have that “great” feeling. I have more confidence; I can see how my clothes are loose, and my flab is seriously decreasing, but I am always in some type of pain. I have a new sore muscle area on my body at least once a week, my back has been hurting, and my knees have been better. There’s a lot of jumping around in Insanity and it’s taking a toll. So, do I feel great? No, I just feel really old!

I am so happy that I hit the recovery week of Insanity. I get a slight break for the next 6 workouts before moving into Phase 2. At least I hope it’s an easier workout, I haven’t done the recovery workout yet, but I know after this week things kick up several notches. I can’t even imagine how hard things are going to be for the final 4 weeks. I’m scared.

One a very pleasant note, I hit a milestone last week with my weight loss! 30 pounds lost to date! That leaves me with 10 to go. I’m in the final stretch of this journey. Well, technically it’s a lifelong journey, but it will be nice to make my 40 pound goal that I set out to accomplish almost a year and a half ago now.

I don’t really think of it as “weight” anyway as much as I think of it as “baggage.”  I have mentioned this before, but I have this photo of myself from 2012, 40 pounds lighter than I was a year and a half ago, and it was the last time I remember being really happy. It was taken before a lot of bad things happened, one after the other. I am back to a happy place now, but I still carry around the “baggage” from a few bad years of stress and bad memories. If I can dump this last bit of baggage, it will be my final step in letting go and moving onto better things.

My husband and I are going on vacation at the end of June for 2 weeks, and I am very excited. He needs the vacation as much as I do. We went through these stressful times together, and I don’t know what I would do without him. He really deserves to unwind and chill out. I’m so proud of him too, he has lost over 30 pounds himself! But with this upcoming vacation, of course I have a huge fear of getting out of my new routine and slipping back into old habits. It will be the first real test this year to see if I’ve successfully made a lifestyle change, instead of just another temporary fix.

Typically, I don’t gain weight on vacation. We’re usually pretty active, so weight gain doesn’t really happen, or not a lot anyway. Historically, it’s the after-vacation period that has brought me down a dark path. I’m sure some people can relate to this – you feel so good after a vacation, especially if you didn’t gain a bunch of weight, so you let things continue to slip and slide for another week, then another, so on and so on, and then it’s back to Fat City.

I can’t let that happen, I have to get right back on that horse! I know I won’t reach my 40 lb goal before we leave, I never thought that I would, so there will still be work to do to reach my final milestone. I don’t want my vacation to result in any extra baggage!

For now, I am just focused on the next week. I have another 5K on Sunday. I don’t expect to do much better than I did last time, since I’ve been pretty sore lately and I’ve only run a few times this month. It’s suppose to rain on Sunday too, and if it’s down-pouring I am not going to participate. I have a massive fear of falling on my face due to a bad running accident I had in 2010, and it’s not worth the risk to me.

I’m going to keep plugging away at Insanity and running and do my best to conquer these last 10 pounds. You don’t stop when you’re so close to the finish line. I’m going to give it my all and finish strong!

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Week 1 Insanity

I finished the first week of Insanity and I’m halfway through the second week at this point, and it’s been a strange time. It’s a hard program because Shaun T and the crew on the DVDs move so quickly. On one hand, it’s difficult to keep up with them, but on the other, it feels as if I’m not working as hard as I was in BodyShred. Sunday (my official weigh-in day) was the first time in over 8 weeks that I had not lost weight. I even weighed myself after finishing a 5K race earlier that morning. The scale was stuck and there was no convincing it to move.

I keep telling myself that I went from the 8th and hardest week of BodyShred to starting a new program at the “easiest” week, so obviously I am not working out at the same level. After Sunday I considered ditching Insanity and restarting BodyShred, but I figured it wouldn’t help since I’d still be restarting at the first and least intense week of the program.  I also think it is good to switch it up and keep things interesting with a new program and trainer. But, I really want to continue to lose weight at my previous 1 lb per week pace. I don’t think that is a lofty goal, but I am not sure what to do about it. I unofficially weigh myself almost daily, and the scale still hasn’t budged, so Sunday was not a fluke. In fact, this morning I was up a pound. Not that I count that, I only go by my Sunday weight as I know it can fluctuate mid-week, but it helps to give me a slight outlook of the future and if I want to lose weight, I need to step it up.

I will admit that last week, aside from my 5K race on Sunday morning, I did not do my extra runs during the week. In all honesty, I just plain didn’t feel like it. I was lazy, and paid the price. I had a lot of work last week and used that as my excuse. I kept telling myself that I had completed my morning workout, so it was ok to relax. It was a stupid move since I had that race on Sunday and it would have been beneficial to limber up with a couple of easy going runs during the week. In addition, since I was starting a new workout program at level 1, it would have been great to get in some extra cardio and burn some more calories. I guess just writing this I am realizing why I didn’t lose any weight last week.

I finished pretty average in the 5k race – 33.37 minutes. That’s a good time for me at this fitness level, but I know I could have done better if I had run more during the previous weeks.  I have another 5K race in 3 weeks, and I’d like to shave a minute or 2 off that time. As an overall goal, I’d like to see my 5K time fall under 30 minutes at some point and then maybe progress to doing longer distances.

I really try to not to compare myself to other people, but I always feel so slow and gross out there on the course with all these people whizzing by me. Women young and old fly by with their cute bouncy pony tails. By the time I’m done, I’m a sweaty mess with a matted down pony tail that I can literally ring out. Over the last 10 years I have run quite a bit, and trained for and completed several half marathons. When do I earn my bouncy pony tail? It’s not like I’m running all that fast, and I’m always a sweaty disaster! My friends tell me that after a race they go out to breakfast, and I can’t fathom sitting in a restaurant post-run. I’m not a pretty sight when I finish a race at any distance, and all I want is a towel and a shower. Don’t even get me started on the race photos, there’s one I keep printed out as motivation to lose weight. Most of the time, they are horrifying. Oh well, everyone is different, and at least I’m out there and doing it.

Maybe one day I will have a race photo that I look at and feel proud, but I know that is both a mental and physical goal. I’ll get there  – hard work and patience with a side of self esteem. A tall order, but I like to dream big.