I just finished my first month of Insanity. My hairdresser asked me yesterday if I felt great with all this working out. I really don’t! I am so sore all the time, I keep waiting to have that “great” feeling. I have more confidence; I can see how my clothes are loose, and my flab is seriously decreasing, but I am always in some type of pain. I have a new sore muscle area on my body at least once a week, my back has been hurting, and my knees have been better. There’s a lot of jumping around in Insanity and it’s taking a toll. So, do I feel great? No, I just feel really old!
I am so happy that I hit the recovery week of Insanity. I get a slight break for the next 6 workouts before moving into Phase 2. At least I hope it’s an easier workout, I haven’t done the recovery workout yet, but I know after this week things kick up several notches. I can’t even imagine how hard things are going to be for the final 4 weeks. I’m scared.
One a very pleasant note, I hit a milestone last week with my weight loss! 30 pounds lost to date! That leaves me with 10 to go. I’m in the final stretch of this journey. Well, technically it’s a lifelong journey, but it will be nice to make my 40 pound goal that I set out to accomplish almost a year and a half ago now.
I don’t really think of it as “weight” anyway as much as I think of it as “baggage.” I have mentioned this before, but I have this photo of myself from 2012, 40 pounds lighter than I was a year and a half ago, and it was the last time I remember being really happy. It was taken before a lot of bad things happened, one after the other. I am back to a happy place now, but I still carry around the “baggage” from a few bad years of stress and bad memories. If I can dump this last bit of baggage, it will be my final step in letting go and moving onto better things.
My husband and I are going on vacation at the end of June for 2 weeks, and I am very excited. He needs the vacation as much as I do. We went through these stressful times together, and I don’t know what I would do without him. He really deserves to unwind and chill out. I’m so proud of him too, he has lost over 30 pounds himself! But with this upcoming vacation, of course I have a huge fear of getting out of my new routine and slipping back into old habits. It will be the first real test this year to see if I’ve successfully made a lifestyle change, instead of just another temporary fix.
Typically, I don’t gain weight on vacation. We’re usually pretty active, so weight gain doesn’t really happen, or not a lot anyway. Historically, it’s the after-vacation period that has brought me down a dark path. I’m sure some people can relate to this – you feel so good after a vacation, especially if you didn’t gain a bunch of weight, so you let things continue to slip and slide for another week, then another, so on and so on, and then it’s back to Fat City.
I can’t let that happen, I have to get right back on that horse! I know I won’t reach my 40 lb goal before we leave, I never thought that I would, so there will still be work to do to reach my final milestone. I don’t want my vacation to result in any extra baggage!
For now, I am just focused on the next week. I have another 5K on Sunday. I don’t expect to do much better than I did last time, since I’ve been pretty sore lately and I’ve only run a few times this month. It’s suppose to rain on Sunday too, and if it’s down-pouring I am not going to participate. I have a massive fear of falling on my face due to a bad running accident I had in 2010, and it’s not worth the risk to me.
I’m going to keep plugging away at Insanity and running and do my best to conquer these last 10 pounds. You don’t stop when you’re so close to the finish line. I’m going to give it my all and finish strong!