Insanity: Last Week!

Almost done! I can see the finish line of Insanity, I just have 5 more workouts to go and it will be over – finally! I am really happy because these workouts in the second phase are just plain bananas. I really don’t like the time it takes up to get them done. As I am not a morning person in general, having to wake up an extra 45 minutes to complete some of the workouts has been difficult. For example, today I have to do the Max Cardio Conditioning and the Cardio Abs, which combined takes about an hour and 10 minutes. That’s a long time for an at-home workout in my opinion, and I can see why Beachbody now offers “T25,” which I assume is the Insanity version that takes 25-30 minutes. Might have to buy that program down the road.

All and all, I have found Insanity to be very effective. I just traveled this past week for a couple of days for work and saw some co-workers I haven’t seen in almost 3 years, and everyone commented on how skinny I looked. It was a great feeling and gave me such a boost of motivation! I don’t think Insanity is as good of an overall workout as Bodyshred, but in terms of trying to lose weight, the extra cardio it offers has been a perfect fit for me at this difficult time when I am down to losing the last 10 lbs.

I knew these last pounds were going to be the hardest to lose, but so far it hasn’t been much of a problem with the high level of intensity in the Insanity workouts. With the exception of a week or 2, I have been consistently losing 1 pound per week, despite the fact it’s been a rough time with my eating. June is “celebration” month – my birthday, wedding anniversary, friends’ birthdays, Memorial Day weekend getaway, etc. It has been a tempting time, and there has been a lot of eating out and sweet treats, which would normally equate to weight gain. But, I’m still seeing results on the scale and I feel I owe that to Insanity.

To date, I have lost 34 pounds since I started this 40 pound weight loss journey. Six of those pounds have been since I started Insanity. I don’t want to jinx it, but I have a good feeling about this week, and I predict I will lose another 2 by the end of the program. On Sunday, I will take all my measurements again and I will post my final results. I still don’t feel as if I have lost a lot of inches in my upper body, but it’s not like I’m going to stop after this week. After Insanity, I am going to restart Bodyshred, and hopefully I will do better than I did the first time I did that program. Once I reach my weight loss goal, it will be time to focus on toning. I now realize that exercise has to be a part of my life forever, so there’s plenty of time to become happy with my measurements.

I am getting a little nervous though, we have a big vacation coming up soon. A few people have been commenting that this vacation has been a “great motivating factor” for me to keep exercising and losing weight. I don’t like that comment, I like to believe that I have made a lifestyle change, and the fact that I am going on vacation has nothing to do with it. Yes, it’s true that I want to look good in our vacation photos, and not feel like a fat slob in my bathing suit, but if this vacation has been my primary motivator and I end up falling off the wagon after I get back, I’m going to be really upset. It’s 12 nights, and I refuse to let 12 nights derail over a year and a half of progress. But I still fear it in the back of my mind. I fear getting a taste of the laziness that I used to love, and not being able to go back to the work it takes to be healthy.

Also, I fear the vacation weight gain. Drinking fruity drinks, eating out every day, and the general sloth that goes with relaxing on vacation  – how can I not gain weight? Do I want to be the type of exercise fanatic that works out in the hotel gym everyday on vacation? I used to think people like that were crazy, but I am considering it. At the minimum, I plan to bring my running clothes and try to run a few times.

I am mentally prepared to gain a few vacation pounds, but a few is all I can handle. I  have to keep my eating and drinking in check, and not go crazy overboard. At this point, I would hope that I wouldn’t even enjoy that kind of thing, but I guess this will be the first BIG test. At Easter time this past March, I kinda binged on Cadbury mini-eggs one day, and I was shocked at how easy it was to just keep eating them. If it’s something I really enjoy, I still find it hard to control myself. I guess the good thing in that situation was that I stopped (after they were gone!) but I didn’t let that completely derail everything else I was doing. I picked up the pieces and kept moving. I have to be sure that I do the same after we get back home. I will probably weigh more, but I need to get over it and continue on my track.

I also don’t want these fears of falling off the wagon ruin my time. I want to enjoy my vacation, and not feel guilty about everything I eat or drink, or feel bad that I slept in and didn’t go out and run. I am so sick and tired about stressing about my body all the time. I love that I fit into smaller sizes now, and I have so much more confidence, but with that has come all these worries about maintaining this new me. I’ve been here many times, and I have failed every time, and each time I thought I had it all figured out. If I allow myself to fail this time, I really don’t know where I would go from here.

It might not sound like it, but I am TRYING not to stress so much about everything. I’ve worked really hard, I deserve a vacation, and if I work out while I am there, great. If not, that’s OK too. The important thing is to get back to real life when we get home, whether I gain 2 pounds, ten, or twenty (jeepers, I hope not 20 although that would be impressive!). Vacation is fairy tale time, not reality.

Anyway, for now, I just need to focus on this week, my last week of Insanity. That is a hard enough challenge on its own, but the end of this program is near, and nothing is stopping me. Stay tuned next week for the final results!

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